Reckless
by bridgestocross
Summary: Pre-Season 5. Annie and Auggie navigating the waters in the wake of events in S4. This is a ONE SHOT.


_**A little ONE SHOT before S5 kicks off...I WILL finish Take No Prisoners, but for now, I am very, very stuck. I decided to write this to sort of clear out the cobwebs. **_

_**(sorry for the technical glitch earlier-it was all my doing!)**_

"So, Annie will be back next week." Calder injected his voice with casualness, attempting to draw the out the other man.

"Yup."

Calder leaned forward and attempted to draw Auggie into his confidence. "I know things will be a little tense for a while, but I'm sure it'll work out."

"Calder, you'll forgive me for not having read your file, but have you ever been in a life or death situation?"

Calder leaned back, a little unnerved by the change in topic. "I've had my share of close calls."

Auggie nodded and took a moment to digest this information.

"Anderson, what's that got to do with—"

"There's a kind of fearlessness." He interrupted.

"I'm not following—"

"When you've lived through something that should've killed you."

Now, Calder said nothing. He'd known, of course, all about the former Special Forces Army captain that was the lone survivor of a bombing that should've killed him.

"It's a powerful thing…" he trailed off.

"You think Walker thinks that—"

"I don't think she_ thinks_. I think she acts. She doesn't care anymore about her personal safety. It's like a switch has flipped. For some, they never can get it back."

"What about you? What flipped your switch?"

Auggie laughed. "Honestly? I'm still reckless. I still feel it."

"Feel what?"

"Like I could walk through fire and not get burned."

"But you didn't exactly make it out unscathed."

"No." He let his arms drop to the arm rests of the chair and then steepled his hands in thought. "I'll tell you something I've never told anyone, Calder. When I was a few months post injury, I was working with an instructor, practicing street crossings. There I was, in the middle of the intersection…" Auggie stopped and shook his head with a small smile.

"Yeah?"

"I could hear the traffic, could smell the asphalt…Anyway, I tossed my cane and turned toward the oncoming traffic."

"Jesus, Auggie."

Auggie was touched and a little surprised to hear genuine concern in the other man's voice.

"My instructor freaked out. Cars all around me came to a screeching halt. I was hauled back in and immediately sent to the shrink."

Calder waited and watched. Auggie was steady as ever. "You weren't trying to kill yourself, were you?"

Auggie raised an eyebrow, a little surprised Calder had gotten to the point of his story so quickly. "No."

"Then?"

"I _knew_ I wouldn't die. I didn't know if I'd get hit, but I knew I wouldn't die."

"You think you have a guardian angel or something?"

Calder expected Auggie to laugh, but instead he saw contemplation on the other man's face. "I don't know. Maybe. Or maybe it's just a total disregard for my own mortality now. It's very freeing." He smiled.

"And you think Annie has that now, too."

"Yeah."

"What do you want to do about it?"

"Well, in my case, my choice of assignments was a little more restricted." He gestured to his eyes and laughed a little. "In Annie's case, she can cherry pick the most dangerous, most thrilling assignment she can find."

"You want me to clip her wings?"

"No. She'll only find a way around you." Auggie held up a hand to stop Calder's inevitable protest. "Let her go, Calder."

"What about you? Are you going to let her go?"

Auggie rose from the chair and headed back toward the door. "She's already gone."

Calder watched as Auggie smoothly located the doorknob and let himself out of his office, or Joan's office, more accurately. Anderson and Walker were quite a pair. He shook his head and wondered what would become of them.

xXx

2 months later:

It was the first time in a long time that Auggie accepted an invitation to Allen's. He'd felt ready to join the social world—at least for a while, but after ordering his beer and listening to the easy banter of his colleagues, the heaviness of loneliness weighed on him.

"Aug man, you okay?" Barber's voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"Yeah. Good." He smiled and took a sip. He knew that Barber and Hollman were probably exchanging looks right about now, but he didn't have the strength to call them on it.

"So anyway, it looks like I might finally be getting my own place—"Barber's voice trailed off into the distance as Auggie listened half-heartedly.

Later that night, he'd accepted a ride home from Barber but, as with most nights, found himself restless. _It was only 11:30_, he thought. The world was still up, especially on a Friday night. He quickly grabbed his keys, phone and cane and headed out towards a decent jazz bar that was only four blocks away.

"Auggie!" He was greeted with enthusiasm by a deep baritone voice at the door of One for the Road.

"Hey, Eddie." He answered.

"We got a spot right at the bar for you. Come with me."

Auggie appreciated the ease with which the man led him. For as many times as he was treated with discomfort and downright rudeness, there was an almost equal number of times that people offered him assistance with ease and kindness.

Auggie sat at the bar and ordered Johnny Walker Blue, neat. He sipped the whiskey and allowed the notes of the music to flow over him and soothe the spur in his heart. The truth was he missed her. He missed her and there wasn't a damn thing that could change any of it.

"Mind if I join you?"

Auggie had been so preoccupied with his trip down memory lane that he hadn't heard the woman approach and now he immediately let his senses take her in.

"Annie?" he asked, skeptically.

"Hi." She said softly.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was sitting up front at one of the two tops. I turned around and you were sitting here."

"I didn't realize you were back."

"Just a few hours ago, but I'm so jet lagged that my body feels like it's 8:00 am. I tried to sleep, but…"she trailed off.

"You should've called me."

"I—"she paused. There were so many things to say, but the words never seemed right. Even now, here in the semi-darkness of this tiny hole-in-the-wall club, she still couldn't bare her soul. "I didn't want to wake you if you were asleep."

Auggie let the lie go. Obviously waking him from slumber had never bothered her before as he could count multiple times she'd dragged him into the office at some ungodly hour. Despite her dodge, he was truly glad she was sitting beside him.

"You want a drink?" He gestured to his own.

"What are you drinking? Is that whiskey?"

"Yeah. I don't know…I just felt like it tonight."

"Okay. Sounds good."

Auggie gestured for the bartender and ordered a second drink for her.

"So, how long are you in town?" He turned and swiveled his chair toward her.

"I don't know. Not long. A few days at most."

He nodded. He wanted to say so many things, but even in his mind, the words sounded patronizing. He settled for, "be careful."

She smiled. "I will." She subconsciously rubbed her shoulder where it had smashed against a concrete wall as she jumped down a stairwell while tailing a mark.

Auggie smiled in return but knew that his words and her response were both hollow. "If you need anything, all you have to do is call. You know that, right?"

She was looking down as he spoke and she couldn't bear to look up. She knew that his warm, brown eyes would be fixed on her and despite his blindness, he'd see too much. He always did.

"I'm okay, Auggie. Really. I think…I think this is better."

"You mean, you. On your own?"

"Yeah."

He exhaled and turned away from her, slowing slipping his drink. "It doesn't have to be me, you know. You can get another handler."

"I should go." She slid up and off the wooden barstool. "I think the whiskey did the trick. I feel a little sleepy."

"Are you still at your sister's? I can call you a cab?"

"No. I have a hotel room. It's just around the corner."

"Okay." He fought the urge to say more.

She paused before walking away, watching the strong column of his throat move as he swallowed the last of his whiskey. She knew it was a bad idea. She knew it would lead to complications, but she also knew she couldn't stop herself.

"Come with me."

Genuine surprise lit his face before he returned it to his normal, neutral mask. "Where?"

"The hotel. Just for tonight."

"Do you really think—"

"I don't want to think." She interrupted. "I want you, Auggie. I want to be with you."

He didn't answer verbally, but instead rose and tossed a few bills on the bar. She touched the back of his hand and he grasped her elbow and tried not to feel the thrill of touching her skin again.

She led him wordlessly to the hotel. The rode the elevator in silence and then proceeded to her room in much the same fashion. Once inside, he couldn't take the quiet anymore.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked as she began slowly unbuttoning his blue shirt.

"No. Yes. I don't want to categorize it, Auggie. I just want to feel you."

His mind objected to her compartmentalizing him and their relationship, but his body quickly told his mind to shut up as she pressed her mostly naked body against his now bare chest. She was kissing him and pushing him backwards toward the bed until the backs of his knees hit the mattress. He pulled her down with him and then flipped their positions so that he was on top of her. The feeling of her body and the sweet smell of her skin almost brought him to tears. He hadn't realized how much of her had imprinted itself on his memory.

Auggie sensed she was fighting a similar battle because she'd alternate between touching him and kissing him reverently and then pulling him down toward him with fire and passion. She didn't want to think, he realized.

xXx

An hour later, she watched with heavy eyelids as he dressed in the pale moonlight that spilled through the crack in the curtains. He didn't speak and she didn't either. She didn't doubt he knew she was awake. He always knew those things. She wondered if he'd say anything, but as he sat down to tie his shoes, she realized that he was resigned to the silence. Could she let him go like this? Did he understand what was happening to her? How could he. Even she didn't know. The urge to run was overpowering and she was thankful that in a matter of days, she'd be reassigned to another corner of the globe to run another outrageously dangerous mission. Would Auggie allow her to come to him after the next mission?

He was gathering his wallet and cane and turning toward the door when she spoke.

"I love you."

"I know." He answered without turning around and walked out.


End file.
